How did it go last night .....part 5 of 5

'So you called the police.' The driver with constable stripes asked me.
'Yes sir.i called you up.e tried to snatch my purse and hence I had no option
but to call you.'i replied.
'Snatch your purse, what is there in your purse ?' he asked.
'Nothing much, I was going back home and he was following me. Now he tried to snatch my purse.' What was I speaking.
'you are drunk.' He told something i knew and faced X.
'So, you were trying to snatch his purse ?'He asked X.
The other policeman was feeling sleepy, so he interrupted.
'take both to police station, they will ask all questions' and he yawned like a monkey.
'sit behind, we will see what to do once we reach station.' and the first policeman opened the rear of the Qualis for us to sit.
'Ravi, what are you doing, we will be in trouble. Don't do this.' X told me.
'You asked for it, can't help. I told you to get away.' My alcoholic ego replied.

We sat in the rear of the van, and I thought what can happen. I will file a report, and rest will be seen in court.I too realized that the things have gone too far, but my ego swimming in spirits contradicted this feeling.
We reached the nearest police post, this was for the first time I was in a police station, let alone the incident when I went to raise an FIR for my lost cellphone. That is a Grey place, you won't like to be for any purpose. Those men who are meant to maintain the regulation in society are monsters. you don't believe me, one interaction and you will find out why I say so.
The patrol cops handed us over to a sub-inspector. A young chap, with a face that reflected the disgust of waking up at this hour in night. He looked at us and said 'lock them up, we will see to it in the morning.'
I was shocked, i mean I was the victim(at least I pretended), and I was being locked up.
'sir, I came to file a report.' I told him.
X almost shat in his pants on the lock up thing.
'Sir, we are friends, and there was a small argument between us. I was trying to convince him to get back home as he was drunk, and he called you.' He told to the Sub Inspector.
'You guys think police is a joke. Now convince him in the lockup.It will take out all the liqour from your brain.' He shouted, and the Inspector, who was sleeping in peace in the upper chamber came down. It was the first (and till now the last) time I saw a policeman on duty wearing a lungi and a thermo-vest. Relaxo sandals too, not to mention.
'What is this noise all about.' he asked his junior, rather shouted on him.
The sub-ins told him everything, adding his common sense to make the incident hilarious, it wasn't to me.
'You people think police is joke'He asked the same question. What were they doing a survey ? What percent of India thinks police is a joke.
'No sir.' I said, Yes asshole, I thought.
To add a little more trauma, he said to sub-ins 'get their medical done, charge them for misleading police, and call their parents in the morning.'
'Yes sir.' He looked at us and said silently though his eyes, sorry dudes, you shouldn't have spoiled inspector's sleep.
'Sir, we are sorry, we won't repeat it again.' Me and X pleaded to the inspector.
'Get started, what are you waiting for ?'he commanded sub-ins and left for his room, his relaxo making a chatar-chatar sound.
Now the last hope was the sub-ins. We made the cutest innocent face ever, and tried to seduce (actually convince, but the word doesn't fit in there) him.
'Sir we are sorry, we won't do it again.'We said.
He arranged a fake smile on his face and said, 'yes, I know. you won't.'.
'Now listen, tell me something about yourself While i fill this medical form.' Need we give an interview o be locked up.
X told about himself. It was kind of funny, by the content as well as his expression. I am not writing the content here as that happens to be great story which I'll keep for a later blog.
'And you, Mr. purse keeper.' He glanced me and resumed his form filling.
'Sir, I have my own company of network education....'
'Alcohol education ?' he said and laughed on his disgusted joke.
'sir Network education, information technology, IT, computers' i hinted him with the keywords, so that can imagine something.
'oh, computers' So he finally ot my point.'I also want to buy a computer. For my misses. and kids too.Which one is better ?'
'Sir, you can come with me to Nehru Place and I can get you cheap one, with good configuration.'
'OK, good' And then we talked for next 20 minutes about the computer component. At the end, he learned what is a mouse, keyboard(he kept saying it a keyword) and the monitor. The benefit I got was X was locked up and I went to rest in his room on a chair.This was the only time being in IT helped me.He also told me that we will be left in the morning. That gave me a relief, and considering X doesn't has this vital information gave me a joy.

So this was it for the night. In the morning we were left with a warning not to repeat it again. I made two resolutions that morning. first one was never to touch alcohol. I broke this one that evening itself, the new year's eve. The second resolution was not to speak to X ever again. That one was broken the next Sunday, when I got a call at 6pm.

"Hi man, wassup" X asked.
"nothing much, busy with work" I replied.
"Work... really"
"Kinda, but tell me."
"What are you doing in evening ?"
"Dude, it's already evening."
"I mean night, let's go to Y's place."
"Today, what day is today ?"...................

Thanks a lot for reading all parts. Please leave your valuable comments if I can improve it anyway.

How did it go last night .....part 4 of 5

So the conversation continued and we consumed lethal amount of alcohol in process. I told her a lot about me and heard a lot of her. I tend to talk a lot when i am drunk, and become a great counselor of career issues. I think not getting drunk before interviews as left me with this crisis in my own life.
'So, do you have a boyfriend' I asked her. Four pegs of scotch and you are not in position to judge whether the question is appropriate or not.
'Why ?'a question for a question.
'Just asking'. I am a moron, that's why.
'Yes, I do have..... a boyfriend.' She took a pause before the word boyfriend.
'Hmm' And I thought to cut it off there.
'You know Ravi, you aren't supposed to trust anyone' She said looking at the fog.
'True, but why do you say so.'
'Just a piece of advice. Nothing serious.'She was about to cry.I have a great sense towards tears.
'Heyyyy... buzz up. Can I get you a new drink.'I tried to cheer her up.
'Yeah, one more bacardi, double' She took the last sip from her glass and handed it over to me.I went inside to refill it. My Teacher's was lying empty, so I thought of taking bacardi for me too. I went back to the lonely woman, with two highly toxic glasses.
'here you go'i handed her glass to her.
We sat near the fire and took out the sticks, kept some for ourselves and called Y to take it inside. He came, saw us together and gave a you-are-a-lucky-bastard looks and went inside.
'try these, i am getting perfection in each new set.' I started having a chicken piece.
'it's still hot, my tongue is still burning.'she took a piece and started cooling it.
'Letme see your tounge.' I swear it just came, no specific intentions were there at that moment. I really swear.
I had a close look of her mouth. And when you are close to a girl,close to her lips, you tend to arose, and in that drunken condition, i wasn't able to control myself. I kissed her. Her eyes closed and i took her into a hug, still kissing her. And then i freed my lips and asked her 'What if your boyfriend comes to know about it.'Who on earth asks this to a girl, at least when you are kissing.
'I don't care, shut up.' She said and we kissed again.
Now before I move to further events, I should tell you that I like a girl, who, doesn't like me that 'way'.We are just friends in her pretext, still I love her. If you deduced, I already know that I am a maniac. So back to the story.
I suddenly realized the fact stated above and freed myself once again.
'Hey, I'm sorry, but I can't do this.' I looked down and said to her.
'What happened ?'she asked as if she realized she had a bad breath.
'Hi, I have a girlfriend, I mean technically we are just friends, but I like her and can't do this.' I was actually drunk, trust me.
'OK, i am sorry too, we shouldn't have done that.' She looked guilty, what were we doing .....killing someone ?
'Let's finish off this peg and get one more.' I said and emptied my glass in one go.
'Hmm'She tried and puked later. I left her alone in bathroom and thought of going inside to get one more peg. What a party it would have been,great alcohol, nice babe and terrifying sex.... what a party it is now, still great alcohol, puking babe, no sex. I tried to open the door but it was locked from inside. I knocked it. Later I realized that X and P were making out. Their bad luck, the only way out from balcomy was that room, and I was in serious need of one more shot.I banged the door again.
'Can you wait for five monutes' X shouted.
'No, I want a drink, and i want it right now' I replied.I wanted to play a simple prank to ruin their plan. I know you all are thinking 'lol'.
'Bro, try to understand' He shouted back, with thumps acting as a background music.
'I want it right now, you try to understand as well.'
And we shouted at each other for thirty more seconds without conclusion. My luck, in between this, P got mad at X.
'X, leave it, I don't want to do it anymore.' I imagined her getting off the bed and putting on her clothes.X opened the door after two odd minutes. In the meanwhile Q came out of bathroom and showed me her empty glass and dropped it off the railing.
'No more alcohol for me.' I undergo this puking trauma on a once in a month basis.
'Happy now ?' He gave me that unsatisfied disgusted look.
'Yeah' I smiled to annoy him a little more and went inside to make my shot and exchanging words with everyone else. X came inside and he was angry. I made that out by what he said to me.
'I hate you calling me my friend, I did all this, arranged this party and ruined my evening' saying so, he went back to the room. I shouldn't have thought of it, with my then-incapable brain, but i did and changed the course of the night.
'I hate you too' I taunted back.
'Get lost you asshole.' came the reply.
'Fair, I am leaving. by the way, how much you pay to this girl for one night.' That was wrong, i know. But i didn't realize it at that moment.
P heard this too, i don't know how she felt about it, but she never spoke to me afterward till now.
I finished my glass, and headed towards the exit door. Y tried to stop me, but I went off. After reaching ground floor I realized that I was about 18 km from home, and I took a ride in X's car to reach here, so no more transport for back home. I decided to walk. Then lit a cigarette, that helps me think better. By then, X realized that I was his responsibility, as he brought me here. He came down to take me back to my place.
'Hey Ravi, Let's go back.'
'Get lost, I can go home on my way.'
'You don't have a vehicle.'This conversation continued for another fifteen minutes.Finally I got agitated to my limit(small limit of course) and gave him the final warning.
'I will mange ,get lost, else I'll call the police.'
'Call the police for what ?'
'I'll see to that later, don't press me.'
'You want to call, you can call.'This was a blunder X made that evening, Challenging a man who likes it a lot. I dialed 100 from my phone without thinking anything.
'Delhi Police, control room.'
'Hi, I am calling from..' I looked at a shop's banner and told the address.
'Thank you for the location, How can we help you ?' They weren't so polite, I just modified this dialogue a bit.
'someone is trying to snatch my purse here on road.please send a PCR'
'OK, we will send you a PCR asap.'
I ended the call and asked X to go away, which he refused.
And within five minutes, I saw a PCR stopping the place where we were standing.

Thanks for reading, I'm working on part 5.

How did it go last night .....part 3

So, after this argument, and my friend taking his GF's side against me, I was already pissed off.Now a piece of advice, don't try to touch alcohol when you are pissed, even when you are angry. This is coz when you are in either of the states, you have a feeling of rage, which smears your adrenaline contents, after which you forget your limit. Scientifically proved. Now a fact after advice : No one is able to do as per advice in this case.

'Y, shall we start the party?' I wanted to get drunk. That would make me more powerful irrationally, and will be an excuse for whatever i did in night.
'Can you place these sticks on fire.' Y replied.
That was not what i asked for, but i was hungry too. So i placed the sticks stuffed with paneer and chicken pieces on the coal fire i just made. It started the cooking process and the aroma filled the room.
'Aha, tikkas' Q exclaimed, and came to balcony.
'Hi again' i said, wondering if something would have been better to break the ice.
'Hi, what are you upto? You cooking ?'he exclaimed a little more.
'Yeah..NO... i was just... trying..hmm..... just trying'. Why i have to be this way while talking to a girl.
'OK.... so you know how to cook, don't spoil it.' She smiled, mischievously or not, i don't know.
'I'll try, i definitely won't if you help me with it.'Damn, why didn't I do the hotel management course i was being offered.
She smiled again, that lazy smiling machine.'OK, we'll do it together.'
I asked her to keep turning it, and in the meanwhile I went to bring some butter to place on the pieces.And slowly we took out the first round out of fire.
I offered her the first tikka, which she took and tried to eat before she screamed,'It's hot....aaaa....really hot.'
'didn't you know that? it just came out.' don't ever try to make a girl realize her mistake.
I ran off to bring her some water, all i could find was a beer, so i brought that.
'Have some, that will relieve you.' i opened and gave the can to her.
'Oh, thanks....glup glup' and she gulped in a few times.
'be careful, here's one more. and it's warm.' I gave her plate a refill and added mouthful of air blows.Did i brush that day. Yes, i did.
'Aaaahhhhaaaa, just wait for a while' The same noise when you eat something full with chillies.
'err.. if you say so.' I started eating my share and left some to serve inside.
I took the plate inside, Y tasted it. I expected an appreciation, but what I got was more raw material in return. Back on business Mr. chef.
But it was fun making tikkas with Q. I knew her from long, as a not-at-all-close friend. that at-all factor somewhat flew away, after her tongue endured that third degree burn, and I got a beer for relief. Such an irony.
The rest of the gang came, came with more liquor and stuff. Illegal stuff. you got no idea what i am talking about.... oho.... you got an idea..... i knew you pervert.
They started making shots with ganja and sulfa and what all shit(i do not smoke anything except tobacco, these memories are the proof). The party started individually. I mean Y was in kitchen, X was in P's lap, some alpha, beta gammas were on phone, some watching TV and some changing the playlist. I was alone, with Q.
She took one more can, and I made my peg of teacher's. We went to balcony, and waited for the clod breeze, fog and alcohol to show their effects. After 2 cans of beer, Q started to open up (her mind, not clothes yet).
'how long do we know each other' She asked.
'I'll get you a new can' I replied. if you don't listen to what a girl is saying, she is either going to go mad at you or do anything to get your attention. This is a worth taking risk.
'No wait, answer.... no... go get one..... bacardi'
'you sure ? bacardi ?'i said. oooollllaaalllaaa bacardi. i thought.
'I am strong enough to have that' She said posing with her biceps.
'OK, as you wish.'I opened the door for the room.
'Wait, make it double' She tried to give me a tough look.
I bought her a double bacardi (almost triple) and stood with her, taking all the non-sense of the world.
I learnt that she is the youngest one in her family, she was most cared by her father. She wanted to be a painter, and visit europe(hollywood movies effect). But her dad was trying to marry her next year. I wasn't listening to all this, I overheard this while rolling the chicken sticks over bar-be-que.

Wait for the 4 part of this 5 part series. Thanks again for reading.

How did it go last night .....part 2

So we reached Y's place. It was 7:40, still no ideal time to drink. We stopped for buying some snacks and soda from the nearby shop. The shopkeeper knew us all, as we are regular weekend customers there. We reached upstairs (didn't i tell you that Y lived on 4th floor), that was like climbing Mt. Everest. 'Poor soul' i thought for Y, he has to go through this multiple time everyday, and it is nowhere similar to multiple orgasm (you fitness freak, over worked-out moron!!). We banged the door to a extent that it came out of hinges. That happened almost every weekend, i still wonder why we have to do this when a doorbell was present. It became some kind of ritual to us, for beginning of a soaked up night. We went inside and placed the beers in fridge, so that they can 'chill' (remember, we are still in December). Y came out of kitchen, with spices on his hand, he was the owner, cook, bartender, waiter and watchman of the suite. We rubbed our shoulder with arm patting the back (read hugging, not embracing).
"how have you been man?" I asked. This is my pet dialogue, I am not 'that' good with the queen's language. English is my second language and I am third class in it(yes, i know you got the idea).
"Same old, you tell me what are you up to..... long time dude". Yes, long time, six days three hours, long time indeed.

We went inside and sensed that AC-DC was yelling loudly.... as loudly as the speakers would have permitted. I flexed my muscles so that I can jump and groove on the music, then decided to conserve energy as night was going to be long. Three other guys were there, i didn't knew them well, they did accompany me in these drinking sessions sometime, but still I didn't know them well. I said Hi and changed my phone's profile to vibration, sensing rings won't be audible. I asked Y to change the tracks to linkin park, the only metal I remotely associated myself. He asked me to do it myself and I started fiddling with the computer. Finally I found some songs and made a play list, which everyone appreciated from the beginning. I mean who hates 'smoke on the water' and 'hybrid theory'.

I went to kitchen, it was smelling nice, with spices and chicken being cooked. Y asked me to check the marinated chicken and lit up the coal for bar-be-que in balcony. chicken looked good (as I am not so good at these marination things), so I went to lit up the coal. I took some pieces and kept it on the gas burner to light them up. Once they were red hot, I placed them in the stand and placed a table fan. Slow and steady, I lit up the coal, and it was red, smearing and hot. It is tougher than it sounds here, but as i enjoyed it, and i don't want to spoil your bar-be-que dreams, i am omitting the hard parts.
I came inside to notify everyone about the fire. i shouted a swearing word (a really really bad one) and announced my achieved feat of lighting up the coal. Then I realized P and Q both were there (refer to first post), and made a 'i-didn't-know-you-people-have-arrived' look on my face, and said Hi.
Q smiled back and replied to my Hi, but P made a face which was full of hate and anger. She called Y and yelled, 'you people should behave when girls are around.'
Y tried to negotiate with P, and said some comfy punches (mostly 'honey, i am sorry, he won't repeat again'). He had no idea that this was a bad idea to commit on someone else's gentleman-ness. The night was growing, and with the alcohol intake lined up, so were my animal instincts.

How did it go last night......

When you are into alcohol more than you can endure, you always end up with experiences you regret, or remember throughout your life, or both. Now I am not into alcohol at all. Alcohol is into me all the time. That is not the point right now. Now if you have to go to a party full of organism of the same sex you are, which is generally the case here in India, you tend to forget your capacity of spirit threshold, and you drink and drink and drink, after which you puke. Sounds familiar, isn't it ? Yes it is. Don't say you haven't thrown up ever, coz no one on the planet has that expertise with alcohol. Not even if you take it only as a homeopathic (read pathetic) treatments.

So here is an account of what happened on 30th Dec :

Evening about 5 PM, I was as usual glued to my laptop, searching for some out-of-world porn. With a party lined up for new year at home, i didn't have any plans for the evening. And then, from devil's precise arrangements, i got a call from X (Names are omitted for identification and making-it-a-suspense purpose).
"Hi man, wassup" X asked.
"nothing much, busy with work" I replied.
"Work... really"
"Kinda, but tell me."
"What are you doing in evening ?"
"Dude, it's already evening."
"I mean night, let's go to Y's place." (again no names)
"Today, what day is today ?"
Let me explain the last statement. I avoid drinking on Tuesdays and Thursday. Teachers, Black label and expensive wines are an exception, provided they are billed on someone else's card.
"I am throwing it today, don't worry." My friends know me well.
"OK then, come and pick me up at 7." I told and tried to finish the conversation as I found a torrent of a lady having sex with a horse. EWW... but still that has to be watched.
"Ok see ya at 7." and X left me in peace for next 2 hours.
I cursed the horse for being lucky, then cursed the internet speed to be slow, and placed the torrent to download the file.
I went out see me in the mirror... not bad for someone who hasn't bathed for about a week now. It's cold in Delhi in December, and you know that. Changed into a party wear and ruffled my hair. Party wear means changing to jeans from my parachute pajamas. Made some lemon tea and went back to check the progress of my torrent. 4% was done with another 5 hours to complete. That meant a new porn after I am back from this unisex party place. I truly relish those moments.
At 7, and I mean sharp 7, a car stopped at my front gate. I made that out because of the shrilling brake noise which these metal monsters make if you halt them from a speed of 120kmph to 0 in a matter of 3 seconds and 20 meters. Then the loud music which indicated something with beat DUUK....DUUK....DUK.DUK.DUK......DUUK....DUUK.... was being played. I shouted to them to lowering the music, and after 5 mins of hand action (used by deaf and dumb to communicate), they lowered the volume.
"Come on in." X shouted.
"Coming" I said and ran back inside for my wallet and cell.In the meanwhile X raised te music again.
"I'll be back by 11, bye mom" I shouted and ran out again to avoid and more clrification.
"OK" mom shouted back, she wasn't in need of any details as she was busy making pickles with ginger and lemons, a new found recipe.

I sat in the car and we sped off on the main road. I turned the music down so that i am audible when i scream.
"So, what is the plan ?" I asked.
"simple plan, We are going to Y's place, drink and make grilled chicken, and paneer tikkas, drink and make some more tikkas, drink again and dance, and pass out there on the couch."
"How many people ?" I was wondering how many couches Y has.
"Me and you,Y, P (X's girlfriend), Q (a girl i wanted to sleep with), and few more freinds, about 15 people." he replied, still concentrating if he missed someone special.
We stopped at wine shop to buy the spirits. Now it's rude to call a wine shop a wine shop in Delhi.
Reason 1 : No one drinks wine, even if they do, they don't outnumber scotch and whiskey drinkers.
Reason 2 : Most of us don't know even a single brand of good wine, neither do the shop owners.
I can give you 99 more reasons some other time.
So we bought 4 crates of beer, 3 vodkas and 2 scotch. That wasn't all we had that evening, I'll come to that later.
X called Y about the scene at his home. Everything was great, they were able to marinate the chicken and paneer, fired up a good bar-be-que which was used as a bon-fire for the time being.
So it took us another 20 minutes to reach at Y's place.

Rest of the story will be continued in the next post. Thanks for reading this up


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